One of the core activities in business networking is having the “one-on-one.” This is where two folks sit down over coffee or lunch and spend an hour or so taking turns discussing their perspective companies. During the first sit-down conversation, both parties usually treat the encounter like a sales opportunity. Ideally, they take turns giving overviews of their businesses, services, products and value propositions.

They may discuss people they both know or groups they both attend. These networkers may talk about the economy or point out key credentials from their résumés. Think back to the last 10 one-on-one conversations you had. My guess is that these followed a fairly common script.

Name, business and target market are usually the first things discussed. Once you have both given your overview, you will move to one of the key questions:

“What can I do for you?”

This question is usually asked to be polite. We hope our conversation partner has come up with a way for us to help him or her that does not include buying the product or service.

Pleasantries are exchanged, and the meeting is completed with a smile and a handshake.

What we do next, however, causes the effectiveness of the relationship to drop off severely. We do a mental “check-off” that we have met with this person. We then move down the list to the next person in the queue.

“I’ve had my one-on-one with Steve. I now know what he does. I understand how he fits in my network. It’s time to move on to the next contact.”

Wow! This is a really big mistake! If you enjoyed the meeting at all, don’t leave the relationship at the front gate. Instead, when your one-on-one colleague asks, “What can I do for you?” give your colleague a new answer.

“You can meet with me again! Let’s set it up.”

One of the key secrets to a whole new level of connecting with the networking public is having a second one-on-one. Having a second one-on-one moves you from random contact to business colleague. During the first meeting, both parties talk about their business, but in the second one-on-one, the conversation moves to a wide variety of connecting points. It can be very difficult to bond with someone’s business, but the possibilities of finding common ground are nearly endless when you talk about your life.

The first concern associated with having a second one-on-one is often about having enough time. “Networking already takes up a huge amount of time, so how can I possibly meet with everyone twice?” The key to this question is that you will meet fewer people, but they will be connections rather than contacts.

The people we are connected with will be the people with whom we do business over and over. These people will be loyal to us and look out for our best interests. They are the colleagues with whom we will form long-term relationships. Simply put, it’s better to spend more time with fewer people.

So plan a second meeting. Don’t hesitate. Schedule it within the first few weeks of the first meeting. When you get back together, the business formalities will be out of the way. You can talk about your families, your hobbies and your passions. You can discuss where you grew up, and why you are doing what you are doing. You are free to talk about trips you have taken, fish you have caught and foods you both enjoy.

Connection points are nearly limitless. The chances that you will connect with someone in the second meeting are extremely high.

It’s easy to put this new principle into action. Call everyone you have met with during the last month, and meet with those people again. Take notice of the things you discuss in the second one-on-one. Observe how much more comfortable you are with your new connection during the second meeting. Your knowledge and understanding of this person will more than double after this follow-up session. Your one-on-one experiences will never be the same when you integrate this networking tool.

Networking is about connecting. It’s not about selling someone on the spot. It’s not about wrangling someone into a business opportunity. It’s about genuinely connecting with people in your business world. When it comes to the networking staple of meeting face-to-face, my plans are quite simple: I’ll take two, please!

For more information, contact Brad Closson at 512-410-4638 or brad@connectivemanagement.com. You may also visit the Connective Management website at www.connectivemanagement.com.