“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it, I say! Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.” – Pope Paul VI.

My youngest son, Drew, returned a few days ago from a three-month bike trip through India. It was one of the things on his “bucket list,” and he decided to get it out of the way sooner rather than later in life. I followed his daily adventure on his blog (ghost-runners.blogspot.com). From his initial apprehension on the cab ride from the airport in Mumbai and his fascination with the interior diversity surrounding Bangalore to his amazement at the beaches of Andamans and elephants playing in the surf and the wonder of Darjeeling and the foothills of the Himalayas, he was living life to the limit.

When he returned a few days ago, we met up at one of our favorite spots, sat outside under a beautiful evening Texas sky, drank a bottle of wonderful Italian wine and discussed what Drew had learned about himself from immersion in another culture – and really, another world – for three months. There were a lot of revelations, as you might imagine, for a young man seeking the answers to life’s big questions. But at the end of the evening, Drew summed up what he learned and said, “If you are not happy, you are doing something wrong.” For him, that revelation will be the catalyst for several big decisions and will provide the litmus test for decisions down the road.

So often in the world of hospice, we get the chance to sit with beautiful people who are pondering the big questions in life from the opposite end of the spectrum. Did I live a good life? Was I a good spouse, a good parent and a good child? Did I get to do the things that I really wanted to do? Did I leave my mark on those around me? Have I been happy?

Every month in this column, we try to take a look at some aspect of end-of-life care. We have educated about hospice, introduced you to some of the people who make hospice happen and even mused a bit about health care reform. But ultimately, what we do here at Alamo Hospice every day is help people figure out how to come to terms with how they have lived their life. In doing that, we are often granted the privilege of participating in checking items off the bucket lists of our patients.

Hospice often gets pigeonholed as a service that is about death. But truthfully, there is much more living in what we do than there is dying. I love talking to our social workers and chaplains about their interactions with our patients and their families. Their gentle and insightful approach to our patients and caregivers often reveals that there is life to be lived and goals to be accomplished. There is a “pain” attached to these un-met life goals. And to address this pain, we have to figure out how to let our patients live. Sometimes it is as simple as a patient’s desire to see a loved one just one more time. It may be the need to visit a favorite place again. Some desires are playful (“I have always wanted to ride on a motorcycle”), and some are heart wrenching (“I haven’t spoken to my son in 20 years”). The living is often related to an unmet goal (“I want to learn make homemade pasta”).

I am always amazed at how much humor exists when I am around our patients and their families. The conversations are often about good times, wonderful memories, family accomplishments and the joy of a life lived well. I have been to some amazing, inspiring and uplifting memorial services for our patients. Even there, as we say goodbye for the final time, the reflections are, more often than not, celebrations of living.

Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” So let’s encourage living and living well, and follow the advice of these great wisdoms: Treat everything as though it is a miracle; Whatever you want to do, do it now; and if you are not happy, figure out what you are doing wrong.

Dale Hicks is the president and co-founder of Alamo Hospice. He is a board certified attorney who serves on the Public Policy and Governance Committees of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Association, and serves on the board of the Texas New Mexico Hospice Organization, where he chairs the Public Policy and Legislative Committee.